Messy Marvins

1: 03 p.m. A man at 1617 N. E. Chapel Hill Drive reported seeing youths pushing over portable toilets.

12: 58 a.m. A woman at McDonald's, 3805 Peach Orchard Road, reported about 15 teens throwing trash, yelling and disturbing customers.

aaaannnnnnnddddd..... HOLYFUCKINGSHIT HOMELAND SECURITY CODE RED FUCK FUCK FUCK WERE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8: 38 p.m. A caller at 3800 S. W. Capstone Ave. reported youths throwing artillery shells into portable bathrooms.

Just marking his territory

1: 28 a.m. A man at 644 W. Dickson St. reported a man urinating off the balcony and trying to hit people with his urine.

an update for the new year

I haven't forgotten about the site. It just seems that Rowena Rappaport and Tracy M. Rogers, who compile the crime report for the paper every day, have toned down the crazy a little bit and there's not much to report here, except for boyfriends threatening to cut their girlfriends "every which way," people killing other people's dogs, the rampant theft of copper wiring, and all the other compulsory acts of domestic violence that the happy holidays bring us this time of year. So my wish for 2008 is that NW Arkansas brings us more stories about pants, topless youths, werewolves, and Mexican standoffs than it does break-ins, firearms, and that damned copper wire.

Some things worth mentioning (or maybe not):

Something happened in early December that made 223 people to come here in one day.

In 2006, 981 people visited the site. In 2007, 4,195 people visited. That's an increase of 427%, and that's what I call getting results.

Of course, I could not have done this alone. Alannah's blog has linked to us since time immemorial, and the newly launched Fayetteville Flyer (swell work, folks) arrived and has sent some people this way. And now we get about 10 page loads a day, and for the first time ever there are probably more people that aren't me checking the site in a given week.

As for those people that end up here some other way than through the links above, they generally come from technorati searches for pissing tags (Hallo, Deutschland!), or googling for some combination of the following words: "fayetteville, bentonville, bella vista, topless, strippers, titties." If you don't know by now, you will never ever ever know. And trust me, you don't want to see anything naked that comes out of Bella Vista.

Another popular search recently consists of people looking for the latest chapter of R. Kelly's popular "Trapped in the Closet" saga. You can read the expurgated version here. The rest of them are generally people googling street addresses. Probably checking out their new prospective neighborhood, only to find they'll be spending an extra $100 to reinforce their mailbox.

So yeah, 2008... bring the crazy, and fight for your right to party.

won't someone think of the children?!

3: 04 p. m. A woman on Northeast F Street reported a man urinated on the tires of a backhoe.

a portrait of discretion and modesty

10: 36 p. m. A man at Neighborhood Market, 1819 S. Eighth St., reported a man urinating in the parking lot and, in doing so, exposing himself to children.

don't cross the streams!

3: 04 p. m. A man at World Gym, 2003 S. W. Regional Airport Blvd., reported two men urinating in the sauna.

i think they meant Orina de Vida

5: 48 p. m. A man at Agua de Vida, 608 S. Thompson St., reported someone urinated in a storage room.