an update for the new year

I haven't forgotten about the site. It just seems that Rowena Rappaport and Tracy M. Rogers, who compile the crime report for the paper every day, have toned down the crazy a little bit and there's not much to report here, except for boyfriends threatening to cut their girlfriends "every which way," people killing other people's dogs, the rampant theft of copper wiring, and all the other compulsory acts of domestic violence that the happy holidays bring us this time of year. So my wish for 2008 is that NW Arkansas brings us more stories about pants, topless youths, werewolves, and Mexican standoffs than it does break-ins, firearms, and that damned copper wire.

Some things worth mentioning (or maybe not):

Something happened in early December that made 223 people to come here in one day.

In 2006, 981 people visited the site. In 2007, 4,195 people visited. That's an increase of 427%, and that's what I call getting results.

Of course, I could not have done this alone. Alannah's blog has linked to us since time immemorial, and the newly launched Fayetteville Flyer (swell work, folks) arrived and has sent some people this way. And now we get about 10 page loads a day, and for the first time ever there are probably more people that aren't me checking the site in a given week.

As for those people that end up here some other way than through the links above, they generally come from technorati searches for pissing tags (Hallo, Deutschland!), or googling for some combination of the following words: "fayetteville, bentonville, bella vista, topless, strippers, titties." If you don't know by now, you will never ever ever know. And trust me, you don't want to see anything naked that comes out of Bella Vista.

Another popular search recently consists of people looking for the latest chapter of R. Kelly's popular "Trapped in the Closet" saga. You can read the expurgated version here. The rest of them are generally people googling street addresses. Probably checking out their new prospective neighborhood, only to find they'll be spending an extra $100 to reinforce their mailbox.

So yeah, 2008... bring the crazy, and fight for your right to party.

can i help you find something?

of the last 100 visitors to this site, 12 of them used google to get here. 5 of those 12 used the following search terms which ended up in them clicking on this here website.

1. naked bitches in bentonville arkansas
2. bella vista club topless
3. greasy valley road
4. krispy kreme truck robbed arkansas
5. werewolf lycanthropy arkansas

this is my measure of success.

office tip #1: increase productivity by eliminating potential distractions

3: 04 p. m. A woman at 2100 N. Leverett Ave. reported a topless woman lying on the grass close to the office.

classic problems, likely teen related.

9:55 p.m. A man at 2341 N. College Ave. reported 15 men throwing bottles at passing cars.

7:00 p.m. A man at Bud Walton Hall reported a problem student who was caught smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol in the hallway had torn down a poster.

8:12 p.m. A woman at 1198 Effie Lane in Farmington reported she was in the woods and found two suspicious-looking fresh graves.

10:03 p.m. A caller reported several children were playing on the bridge at Gun Club Road in Fayetteville and were shooting fireworks at passing cars.

7:23 p.m. A woman at 2647 W. Megan Drive reported a drunken teen-age boy was arguing with her about taking her daughter out and he refused to leave.

3:23 p.m. A woman reported her neighbor on Buena Vista Circle was walking around her front and back yards topless.

10:24 a.m. A woman at 1042 S. 48th St. reported criminal mischief occurred overnight in a room at the Knights Inn. An officer reported several individuals had thrown up all over a room and were currently cleaning it up.

7:11 p.m. A caller reported a man who appeared to be drunk was at 415 Hart Ave. and his elbows were bleeding.

large drunken orgy, possible lycanthropy!

9:28 p.m. A woman at 1764 N. Leverett Ave. reported she received a page from a tenant who reported a "large drunken orgy" was occuring at this location.

2:13 a.m. A woman on South Pepper Tree Lane reported a man with no shirt on was running around the block carrying a white picket fence he had stolen from someone else's yard.

3:19 a.m. A caller on Crutcher Street reported a woman was having a heart attack, and a man was going crazy. Another caller reported the man was on drugs and had attacked a woman. The man then got on "all fours" and started growling like a dog. A third caller, a woman, also reported the man ran up to her residence, rang her doorbell and ran off. When she looked out the window, a woman was out by a vehicle yelling at someone to "get a phone."

4:59 p.m. A woman at 1401 S. 12th St. reported she found women’s panties in a bag in her mailbox.

10:48 a.m. A man at 15562 Osage Hog Farm Road reported possible narcotics in the back of his hay field.

11:01 a.m. A woman at 1107 SE 10th St. reported she found a film canister containing suspicious-looking seeds.

oil, hot dogs, urination, conspiracies, satan!

4:39 p.m. A clerk at 1540 E. 15th St. reported some children have been stealing quarts of oil all day.

12:24 p.m. A man on Arkansas 265 West reported someone put toilet paper all over his yard, hot dogs in all the toilets and spread macaroni throughout his house.

4:14 p.m. A caller on South Washington Avenue reported a man sitting on the sidewalk, urinating into a bottle.

11:53 p.m. A woman at County Line Road in Bethel Heights reported her neighbors had been partying all night and she was ready to go to bed.

12:16 a.m. A man at 15646 Coose Hollow Court in Rogers reported a helicopter flew over his house and a few minutes later a car with its headlights off drove up and down his driveway.

8:00 p.m. A woman reported children not wearing shirts were at the end of the street at 736 E. Ash St. chanting and some children were hiding because something satanic was coming after them.

6:29 p.m. A man reported a man in a blue Honda Accord driving recklessly on North Thompson Street. The man had a paper bag on his head and was running people off the road, the caller said.