Too bad, so sad

The paper no longer publishes a crime report.

11:14 p.m. A woman at 506 Braithwaite St. reported youths ringing a doorbell, running off and making rude gestures to her children.

11:33 a.m. A staff member reported a plastic bag containing marijuana in plain view in a vehicle in the Transit and Parking Impound Lot.

"Don't let the door hit you on your way out."

1:12 p.m. A man at 218 W. Cherry St. reported a male acquaintance slammed a door on his back.

DO NOT DISTURB the reefer break, dude...

11:19 p.m. A man at McDonald's Restaurant, 3805 Peach Orchard Road, reported employees inside tried to cower down and hide and he was concerned for their welfare.

Auditory hallucinations

3:48 a.m. A man on Southwest A Street reported hearing neighbors punching walls loudly and slamming doors and when he confronted them they said he was hearing things.

Hiatus

I was all set to put off all this work I have to do this morning to go through the recent crime reports, but the NWA Demazette's site is down. Must have ice in the tubes, eh?

I'll try to be better about shirking my work. I see the Iconoclast has ceased to exist (RIP), so someone has to bring the really important issues before the community.

Anyway, winter weather always brings the goods, so I look forward to some interesting crime in the next couple days when the site is back online. Also, anyone have anything worthwhile to report from inauguration day (aside from the feeling of a huge burden lifted off your back)? Let me know in the comments below...

A confused and hungry werewolf? Possibly...

10: 14 a.m. A man at 15492 Stage Coach Road in Prairie Grove reported a deer decoy stolen from his yard.

Kill me once, shame on you, kill me twice...uh...can't get killed again.

11: 24 a.m. A man at 19443 Nob Hill Road in Springdale reported a man threatened to kill him twice.

Conflict resolution

8: 29 p.m. A man at North Boxley Avenue and West Franciscan Trail reported two men fighting with sticks.

A Postmodern Predicament: Levels of Remove

7: 16 p.m. A woman on Southwest Fremont Road reported receiving text messages from her 16-year-old son saying his father was screaming at him.

Motivated stoners

1: 53 p.m. A man at 8553 Stoner Lane, Rogers, reported for-rent signs and a 100-pound cement block holding them down stolen.

The rural beat

8: 40 a.m. A caller at 18134 Hale Mountain Road, Canehill, reported a man who cleans chicken houses damaged the compost building.

6: 23 p.m. A man at 22 E. Scott Hollow Road, Lowell, reported a neighbor keeps baling his hay and ran over his septic tank and damaged it.

Hot Commodities on the Autumnal Black Market!

3:43 p.m. A woman at 1949 E. Bois De Arc Lane reported a campaign sign stolen.

3:48 p.m. A caller at 1603 E. Stewart St. reported a campaign sign and a pumpkin stolen.

Mortal Carmbat

12:14 p.m. An employee at Enterprise Rent-A-Car, 702 S. Thompson St., reported a man came in, asked him his name, then hit him and said, "I'm not done with you."

5 man conga line

11: 53 p.m. A caller at Club Congo, 1408 S. Thompson St., reported four or five men trying to push their way into the club.

Why so serious?

8: 48 p.m. A woman at 2470 E. Frontier Elm Drive reported finding a smiley face carved on a door knob, things moved around and lights left on.

Camp Sleepytime

1: 31 a.m. A woman at 808 Hardwood Circle reported a man sleeping in her backyard.

Speed crime!

This air conditioner thief needs to step up his game if he's going to compete with the record-holding vehicular break-in dude.

9: 38 a.m. A caller at 910 W. Laura St. reported an air-conditioning unit stolen.
9: 39 a.m. A caller at 912 W. Laura St. reported an air-conditioning unit stolen.
9: 41 a.m. A caller at 2430 Rill St. reported an air-conditioning unit stolen.
9: 42 a.m. A caller at 2436 Rill St. reported an air-conditioning unit stolen.
9: 43 a.m. A caller at 2434 Rill St. reported an air-conditioning unit stolen.

...and the police arrived on the scene within the minute.

11: 52 p.m. A woman at 1207 Crescent St. reported someone smeared creamfilled doughnuts all over her front door.

Someone rolled up to the Pay Spot and done got PAID.

5: 04 p.m. A man at Pay Spot, 2333 W. Sixth St., reported $ 400 stolen.

This reminds me, I need to check my information tube, I mean, email.

4: 16 p.m. A woman at 2002 S. W. Fir Ave. reported someone left a note in the information tube outside her house that is for sale.

Introducing the bacon-fed, toy-tossing cat burgler

7: 44 p.m. A woman at 601 S. W. Pearl Drive reported someone crawled through her ceiling, threw toys on the floor and took bacon out of the refrigerator and left it on the counter.

When I was a kid, we called that the "Circle of Hate"

FAYETTEVILLE : 2 accused of setting up church day-care fights

"The investigation was launched Thursday after a parent reported teachers forcing 3- and 4-year-old students to fight during “circle time.” The kids had to fight while the rest of the class watched, and the teachers told them not to tell their parents." Read more...
(Via the Fayetteville Flyer)

Get ta steppin'!

9: 58 p.m. A woman on Rothrock Road, Elkins, reported her boyfriend told her to get out.

Can't work with em', can't work without 'em.

3: 17 p.m. A woman on Ervin McGarrah Road, Lowell, reported her daughter-in-law fighting with her son because he got a job working with women.

...but the sword is more disturbing than the pen.

2: 14 p.m. A caller on South 40 th Street reported a sword used in a disturbance.

A good old-fashioned styrofoam burnin'

3: 06 p.m. A man on Osage Creek Road, Springdale, reported neighbors burning Styrofoam, paint and other things.

The Godzilla of trashcans

9: 09 a.m. A man at 307 N. E. J St. reported someone using a large trash bin for demolishing houses.

Honorable mentions!

The Fayetteville Free Weekly gives the crime report an honorable mention as one of Fayetteville's top blogs. Congrats to longtime linking buddies the Iconoclast, The Fayetteville Flyer, and Sufferin' Succotash.

"It’s not the kind of crime that makes you want to move away. It’s the kind of crime that makes you wonder about your neighbors’ intelligence and sanity."

[n.b. I moved away 9 years ago!]

You can call me a lumberjack / I'm smoking trees by the acre

July 22 9: 12 a.m. A woman at 10910 S. E. Campbell Road, Fayetteville, reported a male acquaintance keeps calling, telling her how high he is and that he won't give her father's chain saw back.

Thanks SBM!

Blood brothers

12: 54 a.m. A man on Oakridge Road reported a man tried to stab him but stabbed his friend instead.

Little Red Riding Hood

11: 51 a.m. A woman at 5325 N. Oak St. reported her grandmother has been calling and threatening her.

Yikes--->

The lawnmower was euthenized later on that day.

2: 22 p.m. A woman at Bob Cole Bail Bonds, 601 S. W. 14 th St., reported she was hit in the head with a rock thrown by a lawnmower.

...or was he just happy to see him?

5: 10 p.m. A man at 2763 Adrian Ave. reported an old friend walked by with a gun in his pants.

It's hot out there, y'all...

7: 29 p.m. A caller on West Sixth Street at South Hill Avenue reported a man walking with his buttocks hanging out of his pants.

3: 50 p.m. A caller on West Sunset Avenue reported a man driving naked from the waist down.