Motivated stoners

1: 53 p.m. A man at 8553 Stoner Lane, Rogers, reported for-rent signs and a 100-pound cement block holding them down stolen.

Camp Sleepytime

1: 31 a.m. A woman at 808 Hardwood Circle reported a man sleeping in her backyard.

A good old-fashioned styrofoam burnin'

3: 06 p.m. A man on Osage Creek Road, Springdale, reported neighbors burning Styrofoam, paint and other things.

The lawnmower was euthenized later on that day.

2: 22 p.m. A woman at Bob Cole Bail Bonds, 601 S. W. 14 th St., reported she was hit in the head with a rock thrown by a lawnmower.

Flaming youths

8: 34 p.m. A woman at 1440 Tumbleweed Drive reported youths throwing something in her yard that was on fire.

Flaming youths

8: 34 p.m. A woman at 1440 Tumbleweed Drive reported youths throwing something in her yard that was on fire.

You better believe he was hitting it from behind...

10: 03 p.m. A caller on Caboose Lane reported a man and woman having sex in front of his apartment.

This looks like a job for...

12: 55 a.m. A man at Montana Mike’s, 301 N. Walton Blvd., reported a possibly intoxicated man driving a lawnmower down the street.

who reports a stolen PLANT to the cops? what kind of plant was i.... ohhhh, riiiiight.... gotcha... okayyy.... totalllyyyyy......

6: 09 p. m. A woman at 8690 S. Pleasant Valley Road, Gentry, reported finding her refrigerator in the front yard and a gun, plant and antique coins stolen.

One of these things is uncalled for...

8: 45 a. m. A caller on Summer Shade in West Fork reported neighbors mowing her yard, painting her yard and leaving steaks in her driveway.

it was unclear at press time whether or not he was carrying smallpox-infested blankets

2: 04 p. m. A caller at 3577 Friendship Road in Springdale reported a man tearing down his fence and claiming to own the property.

not the ants! my beloved ants!

4: 18 p. m. A man on East Gulley, Fayetteville, reported a man threatening to smash the ants around his house if he doesn’t pay him $ 10, 000.

we wear (extremely) short shorts.

1: 18 p. m. A caller on North Betty Jo Drive reported a man wearing extremely short shorts was exposing himself while he mowed the grass.

not nice, but scores points for improvising on the fly

3: 53 p. m. A woman on Sycamore Place reported a man attacked her with a weed trimmer.

consider spring sprung

6: 27 p. m. A woman on West Arkansas 16 reported neighbors having sex outside.

...because the front yard is where you keep all these things, apparently.

3: 14 a. m. A woman at 901 Lafayette St. reported a refrigerator, files and drinks stolen from the front yard.

get yer damn dirt offa my dirt

3: 58 p. m. A man at 1282 Forest St. reported a large amount of dirt thrown onto his property when a vehicle was stuck in his yard.

time to make the doughnuts...

8: 44 p. m. A man at 17897 Wheeler Road, Fayetteville, reported a pickup drove into his yard and did doughnuts.