my shopping list

11: 21 a. m. A woman at Kum & Go, 2351 W. Sunset Ave. reported a woman with a baby stole hot dogs, lunch meat and ravioli.

One of these things is uncalled for...

8: 45 a. m. A caller on Summer Shade in West Fork reported neighbors mowing her yard, painting her yard and leaving steaks in her driveway.

wiener theif rides around "shining"

1:25pm A man at 1406 N. Garland Ave. reported someone stole the bratwurst he was grilling and a fork while he was inside watching a football game.

10:51am A woman at 1519 S. School Ave. reported an elderly man on his hands and knees with his bottom "shining."

3:10pm A woman at 4379 W. Thrasher (yes, Thrasher) Drive reported trash thrown all over her yard, condoms on her porch and egg on her house.

2:37pm A man at 1416 Colby Circle reported someone threw a half loaf of bread at him from a car while he mowed his lawn.

5:41am A caller at Flash Market, 3601 Moberly Lane, reported an intoxicated driver pulled up to the gas pumps and fell asleep.