Hello dad, Hello mom, I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch....

11: 14 p.m. A man at 326 N. West Ave. reported a toilet blown up by a cherry bomb.

Messy Marvins

1: 03 p.m. A man at 1617 N. E. Chapel Hill Drive reported seeing youths pushing over portable toilets.

12: 58 a.m. A woman at McDonald's, 3805 Peach Orchard Road, reported about 15 teens throwing trash, yelling and disturbing customers.

aaaannnnnnnddddd..... HOLYFUCKINGSHIT HOMELAND SECURITY CODE RED FUCK FUCK FUCK WERE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8: 38 p.m. A caller at 3800 S. W. Capstone Ave. reported youths throwing artillery shells into portable bathrooms.

YES! just...fuckin'... YES! this is awesome...

1: 37 p. m. A woman with Potty House reported a portable toilet stolen.

crazy children, arguments, weed, sweet mother of christ!

1:43 a.m. A caller on West Center Street and South Hill Avenue reported several children outside hollering and making noise by banging trash cans together. They also moved a toilet into the middle of the street, the caller said.

2:36 a.m. A caller at 2300 N. College Ave. reported a large fight involving about 15 people. The fight originated, the caller said, because someone spilled a Coke.

11:17 p.m. A caller at the 1500 Block of N. Fieldstone Ave. reported his brother stabbed him with a fork. The two were arguing over pie.

11:41 p.m. A caller on South University Avenue reported two people in his apartment building were smoking marijuana. The caller believed they were college students.

11:08 a.m. A woman at 1764 N. Leverette Ave. reproted she was walking by an apartment when the resident opened the door and and a cloud of smoke and the smell of marijuana came out.

3:00 a.m. A woman at John Street reported someone rang her doorbell several times and when she answered, her newspaper was on fire.

6:05 p.m. A woman at 11284 S. Harris Drive in Elkins woke up and a woman was in the laundry room claiming to be the mother of Jesus Christ.