Auditory hallucinations

3:48 a.m. A man on Southwest A Street reported hearing neighbors punching walls loudly and slamming doors and when he confronted them they said he was hearing things.

I guess that's a "yes"

1: 18 a.m. A woman on North 35 th Street reported her 14-year-old son broke a lamp when she asked if he'd been drinking.

This looks like a job for...

12: 55 a.m. A man at Montana Mike’s, 301 N. Walton Blvd., reported a possibly intoxicated man driving a lawnmower down the street.

Just marking his territory

1: 28 a.m. A man at 644 W. Dickson St. reported a man urinating off the balcony and trying to hit people with his urine.

I'm pretty sure I know this woman...

11: 47 p.m. A woman on Coose Hollow Lane in Rogers reported a male acquaintance threw glass on her because she was intoxicated, but she only drank a 12-pack of beer.

Thanks Brooke!

apparently the K9 unit needs to invest in some coon dawgs

10:44 p.m. – Following a call from a US62E motel operator, an officer was unable to spot “two drunk men in the trees” at the branch of a local bank.

drinking early and often

6: 50 p. m. A man at 5640 Ray Payne Road, Fayetteville, reported seeing a baby drinking from a beer bottle and when he told the parents, they threatened to beat him up.

the ID was probably in his pants, sherlock.

4: 05 a. m. A man at Holiday Inn, 1500 S. 48 th St., reported an intoxicated man in the office had no pants on, didn’t know where his pants were and had no I. D. on him.

next time just send a memo around the office

4: 56 p. m. A caller at Springdale Police Department, 201 Spring St., reported a fight in the “drunk tank.”

what happens when you name a bar after the act of depriving drunks of alcohol

11: 52 p. m. A caller at Last Call Bar, 1107 S. 48 th Street, reported getting hit with a pool cue.

i'm fucked up, i got problems, and i'm dangerous...

11: 46 p. m. A caller at 524 Virginia reported problems being caused by someone walking around with a beer bottle.

EZ mart XYZ

5: 29 p. m. A woman with EZ-Mart, 723 N. 13 th St., reported a man appeared to be intoxicated and his pants were unzipped.

elevate me later

8: 01 a. m. A woman at Homewood Suites, 4302 W. Walnut St., reported a man passed out in front of the elevators with a beer can in his hand.

special delivery!

1: 04 a. m. A caller at 1558 N. Salem St. reported beer cans stuffed in his mailbox and in the yard.

wicker man / pusher man

7: 32 p. m. A man at 2071 N. Chestnut Ave. reported someone knocked over his wicker chair.

2: 55 a. m. A woman on North Mount Olive Road in Gravette reported a drunken man pushing people.

my name is slim shady

3: 46 a. m. A man at 525 N. Shady Ave. reported a man kicked the front door down and passed out on the couch.

kids these days...

beer: check.
dead animals: check.
party time!

4: 44 p. m. A woman at 51 Holly Drive reported youths throwing dead animals in her yard.
6: 33 p. m. A woman at Gusano’s Pizzeria, 2905 S. Walton Blvd., reported four teenagers drinking beer.

in a cloud of marijuana smoke...

9:26pm A man on East Maple Street reported his girlfriend kicked in his front door and threw a can of beets at him.

4:09pm A woman at 2002 Christy reported people breaking into her home and poisoning her soap so her clothes would stink.

6:24pm A woman on North College Avenue reported a man grabbed and rubbed against her after she declined a date with him.

5:02pm A man on North Old Cincinatti Road reported a man known as "Chewy" threatened to "bury" him.

1:50pm A caller at 1318 S. College reported people that look "confused" folding clothes on a table and walking across the street.

3:20pm A man at 19493 W. Arkansas 16 reported someone let a man into his house to sleep on the couch. The caller said the man started kicking his wheelchair and table when he awoke.

8:02pm A caller at 12631 Kenneth Price Road reported a man in his 20s asked an 80 year-old woman for directions, then returned and asked if she would go to the movies with him.

11:20pm A bartender at 326 West Ave. reported a trespassing man with a shirt with the message "Bring me a beer."

2:20am A man at 1001 W. Stone Street reported he was locked inside a building that he entered. The caller said he entered it because the door was open, and he wanted "to see what it was like inside."

9:10am A caller at 306 N. University reported a vehicle. The caller said the vehicle was unlocked, and a key was not needed to start it.

3:44pm A man at 1151 W. Hefley reported the marijuana he smoked was "laced" with something.

9:33pm A woman at 2867 E Gordon Long Drive reported a "strange haze" in her bedroom, and that she thought a neighbor had been cooking drugs.

5:34pm A caller at 1509 S. West End Ave. reported an intoxicated man arguing with himself. An officer later reported that he was singing.

2:38pm A man at Whistler Mobile Home Park on South Old Missouri Road reported possible prostitution because there are a lot of men coming and going into a mobile home.

6:42pm A woman on North Shamblin Avenue reported people on bicycles circling her and asking if she called the police.

8:01pm A caller at 215 Watson Street reported a man took presents, unwrapped them and then returned them wrapped.

9:36am A woman at 8500 W. Miller Road reported 30 cows in her yard.

7:33pm- A man at 614 W. Cleveland St. reported that he lost his "pot" and would like an officer to bring over a dog to help him find it. The caller said that he thought he lost it in the couch.

wiener theif rides around "shining"

1:25pm A man at 1406 N. Garland Ave. reported someone stole the bratwurst he was grilling and a fork while he was inside watching a football game.

10:51am A woman at 1519 S. School Ave. reported an elderly man on his hands and knees with his bottom "shining."

3:10pm A woman at 4379 W. Thrasher (yes, Thrasher) Drive reported trash thrown all over her yard, condoms on her porch and egg on her house.

2:37pm A man at 1416 Colby Circle reported someone threw a half loaf of bread at him from a car while he mowed his lawn.

5:41am A caller at Flash Market, 3601 Moberly Lane, reported an intoxicated driver pulled up to the gas pumps and fell asleep.

"tremendous loud" and incredibly naked

12:42 a.m. A caller at West North Street and North College Avenue reported a naked person walking northbound on North College.

10:47 A woman at 2004 S. Pleasant St. reported a man stole the clothes she had washed but not dried.

3:56 p.m. A man on Ewalt Avenue reported three women drove by, cursed and threw a brick at him.

4:06 p.m. A caller on Rogers Circle reported a drunke (sic) father struck his 15-year-old son. The son pushed the father, who lost his balance and fell on some wood, which caused him to bleed.

8:49 p.m. A woman on West Wedington Drive reported her boyfriend's cousin "went crazy" and "pulled a hammer on her." Syringes were in the sink, the caller said.

12:07 a.m. A man at East Huntsville Road and South Lake Sequoyah Road reported two women running in the road, one without a shirt.

3:06 a.m. A woman at 2333 W. Sixth St. reported a man tried to pay for his gas with a cigarette.

8:27 p.m. A woman at 18080 Ridge Road, Gravette, reported she heard "tremendous loud" screaming and yelling at the corner of Ridge and Radder roads.