Get ta steppin'!

9: 58 p.m. A woman on Rothrock Road, Elkins, reported her boyfriend told her to get out.

Can't work with em', can't work without 'em.

3: 17 p.m. A woman on Ervin McGarrah Road, Lowell, reported her daughter-in-law fighting with her son because he got a job working with women.

Bare in mind that it's February

2: 53 p.m. A caller in Summers reported a man in women's underwear standing on his porch.

acting naturally

2: 45 p.m. A woman on Natural Walk Road in Springdale reported a man and his son making obscene gestures and growling at her like a dog.

my shopping list

11: 21 a. m. A woman at Kum & Go, 2351 W. Sunset Ave. reported a woman with a baby stole hot dogs, lunch meat and ravioli.

i will sweep the everloving fuck out of this house if you make me go to school. i'm crazy & i'm not even fucking around...i swear to god i'll do it.

7: 51 a. m. A woman on Cheatham Street reported her daughter threatened her with a broom because she didn’t want to go to school.

in da club, uh, i mean...da park.

11: 15 a. m. A woman at East Side Park, 200 Park St., reported a woman dancing on picnic tables around two men that and it was inappropriate.

office tip #1: increase productivity by eliminating potential distractions

3: 04 p. m. A woman at 2100 N. Leverett Ave. reported a topless woman lying on the grass close to the office.

...but not burning a picture of the pope?

12: 46 p. m. A woman at West Venus Street and South Eastern Avenue reported a woman with a shaved head dancing and singing while she was walking.

feeling fabulous!

10: 05 a. m. A man in the Woods Creek area reported finding a man wearing pearl earrings sitting in a vehicle with a lot of women’s clothing and shoes.

and this is illegal how?

11: 42 p. m. A caller on Chadwick Street reported young women jumping out of windows and running around the neighborhood wearing only pants and bras.