punching, peeing, streaking, goat butchering, and one of the great literary forgeries of our time

11:38 p.m. A woman at 4621 Sunset Ave reported a man who came through the Wendy’s drive-thru pulled one of the employees through the window and began punching him then took off running toward the Days Inn.

11:58 p.m. A woman at 1801 N. Crossover Road reported a man urinated in the parking lot and was still outside waiting on his food, and a drunken person with a child in another vehicle harassed a carhop.

1:49 a.m. A caller at Kappa Sigma reported that a naked man ran in front of someone and was almost hit.

5:47 p.m. A caller on Stone Street reported that three men killed a goat by slicing its throat and then hanging it. Children were reportedly present.

4:44 p.m. A woman on North Villa Boulevard reported a man threatened to kill her "because [she] is ugly."

8:51 p.m. A caller at 1616 N. College Ave. reported a man in a wig tried to buy cigarettes with a broken credit card that wasn't his. The caller said the man's name was Nathaniel Hawthorne.

8:52 p.m. A woman at 1962 W. Sixth St. reported a drunken man with a pool cue at Taco Bell.